Phase I

Tension Building Phase

(Could last a few weeks, months or years.) 

Abuser:  edgy, may become verbally abusive, minor hitting and slapping.

Victim:  Feels tense, afraid, like they're walking on egg shells, helpless and submissive.

Phase II

Serious Battering Phase

An incident usually occurs during this time and could include hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, use of objects or weapons, sexual abuse and more verbal threats.  The tension becomes unbearable.  The victim may provoke an incident just to get it over with.

Phase III

Honeymoon or Calm Phase

The length of this phase decreases over time.

Abuser:  May deny violence; blame it on alcohol, drugs or victim; apologize; promise it won't happen again, promise to get counseling, quit drinking, etc.  May display loving behavior such as buying gifts, flowers, or doing something special for the victim.

Victim:  Trusting; wants to believe partner; only wants violence to stop; hopes for change; may receive pressure from family or friends to give the abuse another chance.